I had some pretty amazing plans for 2020.  I was bragging about how well I did Christmas this year because I got adventure gifts for others…and me!  Bridget and I were travelling to London to visit Lisa in February; while we were there, we were taking Lisa and Adam to afternoon tea and Hamilton; Gilles, Max, Erika and I were going to see Elton John; and Phil got his flight to Poland for Lisa’s wedding in May.

Where we should have spent May 2nd

The wedding was going to be the highlight, #Krakow2020.  We had so many close friends planning to join us in Krakow to celebrate Lisa and Adam’s wedding in a beautiful old church in the centre of town and then the reception in a castle in the hills outside of town.  It was going to be a fairy tale wedding!

And to top it off, Gilles and I were taking our first 2-week vacation together since our honeymoon in 1988.  We were planning to go to Salzburg, Vienna, Prague and Budapest the first week, then had a big house rented for the second week in Krakow where all our family would join us and we could explore Poland for the week leading up to the wedding. I even had t-shirts made up for everyone at Christmas!

Then Along Came COVID

Bridget and I did get to London in February, but the rest of this epic year is on hold.  I know I’m not alone, and I know there are others facing bigger tragedies than this, but this COVID Dance has thrown me for a loop!  My dad is living with us so I am even more paranoid about going out into the world.

Last week I was almost in tears because my hamburger bun order didn’t come in so I had to change our dinner plans.  It’s truly not that hamburgers are that important to me. I think it’s that everything seems to take more planning, more time and more work. I can’t just run to the grocery store to pick up what I need; ordering ahead for curbside pickup requires planning a week ahead of time!  

Learning the COVID Dance

I have learned to take a deep breath and remind myself that it’s not really about the buns or whatever else has me on the verge of tears at the moment.  COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives; and wrenched away the control that we thought we had over big things like our jobs, schools and communities; and little things like grocery shopping, sports and visiting with friends.  

And I don’t even have little ones at home anymore; there is a special reward in heaven for all of you who are doing this AND trying to entertain – and homeschool – your children when there are no programs, activities, friend dates or even parks open!  God bless you all!

Where we actually spent May 2nd

So the tears aren’t really about the little things that life is throwing at us on a daily basis; for me they’re about our cups being almost full and that last drop can cause a spill.  They’re about mourning all of the changes that have occurred since our world went into lockdown.  They’re about wedding day 1.0 happening with a ZOOM celebration rather than a visit to a castle in Poland.  

Finally, they’re about the uncertainty of when this will end and what if it comes back?  And what will “normal” look like when we get there?  And now that some restrictions are lifted, how do we keep ourselves and our families safe? There are no answers right now, and we’re not used to living like this!  

So we’ll learn the COVID dance…but we’ll remain hopeful that the day is coming when we can forget it again!