I got some feedback last week from a good friend who reads my blog and thought that I had it all together…so I figured it was important to set THAT record straight.  Not only are my ducks not in a row, I don’t even know where those suckers are half the time!

It’s so easy to think that other people are living perfect lives; I definitely did it as a parent and I don’t think it ever really ends.  When I am scrolling through Facebook or Instagram, or when I see people at the grocery store; everyone looks like they are living a life without cares.  They are smiling and having fun, playing with kids and grandkids, travelling (pre-COVID); no one is trying to figure out what to cook for dinner or feeling like they’re overwhelmed with all that is going on.

I remember the first time I went to see a counsellor.  My very brave friend, Karen, was the first person I knew who was in counselling and she was telling me a little bit about it.  (This was 1997 and people didn’t talk about things like mental health and counselling; Karen has always been ahead of her time!)

Then I started to look at what was going on in my house and I realized I was feeling kind of “blah” (that’s the technical term lol).  There was no crisis happening, but little things were pushing me over the edge.  I had 3 children who were 1, 3 and 5, and I didn’t feel like I was coping with day-to-day life very well.

What an amazing experience it was to talk to someone who didn’t know anything about me; she could ask me the questions I needed to figure out what was really going on.  It was so liberating to talk to a professional who could help me reach a conclusion about what I needed and the direction I should be heading in.  She also offered resources to help guide me, like Harriet Lerner’s book, The Dance of Anger, which I think everyone should read.

Over the years, I have gone to counselling several more times and each time I have come away with important information to help me process what was happening in my life.  I have been a strong advocate for the benefits of counselling.

Sometimes it’s easier to see other’s struggling than to recognize it in yourself.  A couple of weeks ago, our son Max was home and, after spending a few days here, he told me that I should be seeing a counsellor.  It was a major aha moment!  Of course I need to see a counsellor, but I was feeling so overwhelmed that I couldn’t see that.  (It was also a proud mommy moment; apparently we have raised a son who could recognize that need AND feel that it was acceptable advice to share.)

So, I have an appointment this week for an online counselling session (life in a COVID world)!  I felt a little of the load lifting just by making the appointment.  The past 6 months have not been easy, and I am working hard to keep a positive attitude.  I think I am successful much of the time, but it can be an exhausting endeavour.  

So the next time you’re reading a blog or scrolling through social media, please know that most of us are fighting with those darn ducks…you are not alone!  It’s not easy to make yourself vulnerable enough to admit it but seeking help from a friend or loved one and/or a professional is the answer for me…and it might be for you too.