I am sitting at the dentist’s office…well outside in my car…while my dad gets some fillings, and it has me reflecting on how our relationships change over time.  As a child my dad was my hero. He took care of all my needs.  He was always so witty; well, that hasn’t changed.

My dad carried this one in his wallet

As I grew up, my dad was always there for us.  For many years he was the parent who made dinner every night because he got home from work before my mom.  I can remember helping get dinner ready and getting in trouble for cutting too much potato off as I tried to peel them; I told him that I refused to peel potatoes for years because of that…hahaha

After dinner he would always go down to watch the news at 6 on CKCO, until my sister came along and then she would want to watch the Polka-Dot Door while she had her after dinner “treatment”.  They argued about it once in awhile, but she usually won.

He was a hard-working man who never missed a day of work.  With a very minimal education, he was a Supervisor in a chip factory…yes, my dad had the best job ever!  That factory was sold 4 times over the 35 years he worked there and I can remember there being lots of stress at those times. 

Particularly when Frito-Lay came in.  Their policy was that anyone in a Supervisory position needed a university education so my dad was moved into Receiving, where, in his mid-forties, he had to learn to use a computer and Lotus 1-2-3 – remember that program?  It was definitely not as user friendly at that point as today’s software.  As it turned out it wasn’t long before they realized that his knowledge of production made him a valuable asset there…and he got to do both jobs.

The last sale happened when he was in his mid-fifties.   They offered him a job in Mississauga and he drove there a couple of times then decided that was not for him, so he retired.  Well, retired from that job.  He then went to work for my brother as a landscaper.  Working outdoors and not “taste-testing” chips everyday, he was in the best shape of his life!

As teenagers, we usually had to ask my mom for permission to go out, or use the car or things like that.  Once in awhile, she would say “go ask your dad”, and I would smile from ear to ear.  All I had to do was open my eyes really wide and say “please daddy”, and I was good to go!  Being daddy’s little girl had its perks!

In the years since I have been raising my own family, my parents were always such great supports…and wonderful grandparents.  We all just loved visits with them.  I had to laugh because my dad totally lost the ability to say no to his grandchildren.  I remember being downstairs at their house, and he and 4-year-old Max were upstairs.  He called down to us to say that Max had had 4 clementine oranges and wanted another one.  He wasn’t sure he should have one but wanted me to come upstairs and be the one to say so.  He was the quintessential grampa!

Over the past couple of years, he has been diagnosed with dementia, so he could no longer drive which has severely limited his independence.  That is so hard for a proud man.  

On an adventure with Gilles

Since March he has lost his wife (one night as we were leaving the hospital, he broke my heart when he said, “what am I going to do without my Rosemary?”), moved to our house in Bracebridge and now to a retirement residence here.  It has been a year of upheaval in the midst of a pandemic.  

He is confused some days, more forgetful than he was a year ago, a little crankier sometimes…but overall he is still my daddy.  He still has a great sense of humour and can be very witty.  This past year, he has enjoyed adventures with Gilles, golfing and drives with Bridget and Max, visits from my brothers, and the beautiful Muskoka scenery.

 And even though I am the one driving him around, I will always be his little girl.