One of my earlier posts was called The Covid Dance and I talked about how our cups are so full that sometimes the smallest things can cause them to overflow. I talked about learning the COVID dance…while at the same time hoping that someday we can forget it.
I don’t know about you, but to me that day is seeming further and further away. As we prepare to send kids back to school, I can’t help but be nostalgic for the excitement of the first day of school and wonder if next year we will be back to “normal” life? Or will we still be grappling with COVID-19?
Traditionally September is a month to set goals for the coming year, but how do we make plans in a year when we don’t know what tomorrow will bring?
Control???
I have been doing a lot of reading about coping with anxiety during COVID-19, and the first tip is always to separate what you can control from what you can’t.
I can control things like what I eat, how I sleep and how much exercise I am getting. I can control where I go in public, I can follow the arrows in stores, and I can choose to wear a mask. I can do my best to maintain social distance and wash my hands and use sanitizer. I can try to get outside for a little bit every day and try to limit the amount of news I watch.
I feel like the list of things I can’t control seems really long and filled with important things. I can’t control how others behave when I am out in public. I can’t control how long this is going to last and the impact it will have on our economy. I can’t control the level of unease I feel when I leave my house or when my dad wants to come with me.
I can’t control that my daughter is getting married at a city hall in London rather than a castle in Poland, without her family there to celebrate with her (but we can participate through FaceTime and make plans for a celebration at a future time).
So, my first goal will be to remind myself when I start to spin out over things I can’t control, that I have done all I can to control the things I can control and that there are things I can’t control.
Name Those Feelings
The second tip that really resonated with me is to name your feelings; acknowledge them and experience them. I spent a lot of years pushing negative feelings down (and usually burying them under food). I have learned it’s so much better to feel them; sit with them, write about them or have a good cry if necessary.
My second goal will be to try to catch myself when I start to get upset or lose my temper for seemingly minor reasons. There’s usually something bigger underneath and naming it will help me process things in a healthier way.
Stay Connected
The third tip is to keep connections alive. Social connection has been linked to all aspects of mental health and it can be a challenge in this time of physical distancing. I know I am missing my children and grandchild incredibly!
My third goal is to be grateful for the technology that allows us to connect safely and to meet friends outside for as long as that’s possible.
Hope
Finally, it can be hard in the middle of challenges to remember that “this too shall pass”. Just like my mom used to hold my hand and ask, “have you ever not got things done before?”, when I would melt down at crunch time in a school term; we will get through this.
My final goal is to stay in the present; be mindful of the gifts I have and keep my focus on what is happening right now.
I am hopeful that when I come out the other side, I will have learned some new lessons about myself and my place in the world.
What goals have you set for yourself this September?
